Yes, I’m talking to you …and you, and you, too

My name is Kristina; I use the pronouns she, her, and hers; and I support anything safe, sane, and consensual that happens between adult human beings. I’m not here to judge anyone’s sexual orientation, relationship status, or personal preferences. I’m here to guide you towards products that are right for you and your wants & needs. My goal is to make home parties a safe space where people feel like they can share and interact. So when I do a show in a room of people that I’ve only just met, I try to be as inclusive as possible.

“Partner”

When you’re not engaging in solo-play, someone else is sharing the experience with you. When referring to that person, instead of using any of these terms: wife, husband, spouse, fiancée, girlfriend, boyfriend, significant other, friend with benefits, f**kbuddy, flavor of the month, one night stand, lover, hookup, side chick, man meat, boy toy, mistress, slave …I could go on, but I think you get my point… I choose to use the word “partner”.

“Penis-owner”, “vulva-owner”, and so on

Here’s an excerpt from my post about the importance of giving all people the opportunity to attend sex toy parties:

ICYMI, the concept of gender is changing. “Female” and “male” are no longer the only identifiers that people are choosing to use. Some people identify as “genderfluid” or “agender”, and those are just two from a list of many non-binary terms. As a Goddess, I’m here to educate people about Athena’s products and all of the various ways in which they can be used. I don’t poll everyone in the room to see if their anatomy matches their “gender presentation”.

A person with a penis might not identify as male. Someone who has a vagina might not identify as female. So instead of attaching gender-specific pronouns to body parts, I like to use the “[body part]-owner” formula.

A little bit of everything

One of my favorite sayings is “You don’t know what you don’t know.” The people that I meet have varying levels of experience with sex toys and other bedroom novelties, so my default is to present a variety of products. I try to show at least one item from each of Athena’s toy categories. This way everyone has an idea of the range of toys available to them through Athena’s. (If they’re looking for a specialty item that Athena’s doesn’t carry, the Warehouse Manager is happy to help us find anything that’s legal.)

During my introduction, I ask that party attendees don’t “yuck someone’s yum” – just because you’re not into it doesn’t mean it’s OK to announce that you think it’s “gross” or “weird”, etc. For example, you might not be into anal stimulation, but the person sitting next to you might be eagerly awaiting the butt plugs. If you’re not a fan, that’s fine, but please keep it to yourself (…no pun intended).

Hard habit to break

I admit that changing the way that I speak has taken time and practice, but I believe that it’s a valuable skill that is worth the effort. I still catch myself using gender-specific pronouns sometimes, but I’m working on it. I don’t care who you are, what you’re doing, or whom you’re doing it with – I want you to have a great time at my parties, and I want to steer you towards products that you’ll truly enjoy.

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